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The 5 Most Depressing Peanuts Strips of All Time

I AM BACK! Still not dead, just really busy. Anyway, I’ve been reading a ton of Peanuts lately, and I’ve discovered a few things:

  1. Charles Schultz was a ludicrously funny man.
  2. Charles Schultz remained ludicrously funny for 50 years, which is pretty amazing.
  3. Occasionally, Charles Schultz took a break from being ludicrously funny to stomp on our hearts.

To celebrate the Peanuts movie (which I haven’t seen yet, but I’ll post a review when-NOT if-I do), I’ve decided to showcase this part of Charlie Brown history.

5. Snoopy’s doghouse fire

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GUH.

The thing about Snoopy is that he was much harder to depress than any other Peanuts character, which is exactly why this simple strip is so heartbreaking. It’s part of a much longer series where Snoopy’s house burns down (it’s eventually rebuilt), but Snoopy without his doghouse is just SO SAD (to me at least).Still though, it pales before:

5. Olaf.

Guh.

Guh.

Olaf was one of Snoopy’s relatives first introduced when Lucy tried to win an “ugly dog” contest. Snoopy flatly refused to help, and his more famous brother Spike  balked at having to leave his home in the deserts of Needles, California (more on that later), Lucy convinced Snoopy to write to Olaf, the “ugly one” to ask for help. So ugly he wore a sack over his head until forced to take it off, Olaf was so depressed at his victory… that happened. Good news, though: Olaf eventually met up with Snoopy’s other brother Andy, and they set off on a journey with Woodstock, which led to this:

He survived, but I can't find the follow-up strip.

He survived, but I can’t find the follow-up strip.

3. Charlie Brown is lonely

GUHHH.

GUHHH.

This is notable because it marks the exact date where Charlie Brown became so sad (February 1st, 1954, for the record). Before this, Charlie Brown was just one of the rest of the kids; as likely to start something as Violet or Shermy (Lucy, Linus and most of the other more famous characters came later). But after this, Schultz realized the value of having one character to dump on, which gave us this masterpiece of awful.

2. Peppermint Patty

GGGGGUUUUUUHHHHHH.

GGGGGUUUUUUHHHHHH.

I was going to post one of the many instances of Charlie Brown trying, and failing, to work up the courage to talk to the never-shown little red-haired girl, but then I remembered this story from the seventies where Peppermint Patty met the little red-haired girl at summer camp and tried to challenge her to a fight over Charlie Brown, but then… this happened. One of my favorite series, as the next thing that happens is:

Awww.

Awww.

As Linus put it himself, “Every now and then I say the right thing.” But by far the saddest Peanuts strip I have ever seen, which actually inspired this post, is this:

1. Why Spike lives in the desert

GGGGGGUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHH.

GGGGGGUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHH.

Spike has always been, in my opinion, the second most depressed Peanuts character (after Charlie Brown). He’s always out in the desert, lonely and trying to talk to a cactus. In Snoopy’s WWI fantasies, Spike is in the trenches:

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But to find out that Spike’s in self-imposed exile? For accidentally killing a bunny? Now Schultz is just being mean.

Sorry this has been so late! Hopefully new stuff will be here soon.

Movie Review: The Martian

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Okay! For once in my life, I saw this movie around the time it came out in theaters, instead of around the time it came out on Netflix (going to theaters is hard). I really only do this for Marvel movies and movies based on books I liked. And I really liked The Martian. Not only did I, as a sci-fi fan, love the book, several people I know who are in no way sci-fi people (one who hasn’t seen Star Wars, in fact, and yes, those people exist) loved it as much as I did. So I had a lot riding on this movie.

First things first: when I mentioned this movie to a friend, his response was “Damn, how many movies revolve around people losing Matt Damon?” This hadn’t occurred to me yet, but actually, wow, Matt Damon is apparently really easy to lose, as this image demonstrates:

matt-damon-that-one-player-who-always-gets-stuck-in-the-dungeon

What is that? Anyway, the movie, like the book, is about Mark Watney, astronaut and botanist (in the book he’s also a mechanic, but that honestly isn’t important) who gets separated from his crew on a mission to Mars. Alone on an entire planet, he has to stay alive while back on Earth scientists scramble to find a way to bring him home. Like I said, I loved that book, and somehow, this movie failed to disappoint me. I absolutely expected it to fail to live up to the book in some way or other, but… it basically didn’t. Let’s get into specifics:

The script was the book brought to life. There were certain things scaled down, like the romance between 2 of Watney’s shipmates, and several of my favorite lines from the book were cut, but there were also lines I loved in the movie that weren’t in the book. The Martian is interesting because there’s no antagonist. None. Just Mars, and Mars isn’t even really evil. It just… is, and there’s nothing anybody can do about it, but maybe we can help this one guy survive a little bit longer. The movie, I think, might have captured that sense better than the book.

The reason the movie can do this so well is that Mars looks amazing. Check this out:

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The visual effects are stellar. They just took my breath away. I really don’t know what else to say.

When you don't know what to say, hit 'em with a picture of Matt Damon.

When you don’t know what to say, hit ’em with a picture of Matt Damon.

Aside from Mars, the only player in much of the movie is Matt Damon. Who is excellent, thank God. Mark Watney isn’t exactly the most fleshed-out character: we don’t know much about his life on Earth or what he does when not battling for his life. But it still felt like Damon could have told you all about that, had you asked. He was funny, endearing, and indomitable, and I think Damon could have carried the whole movie if he had to,

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But he totally didn’t have to. The ensemble cast, both back on Earth and on the ship that left Watney behind, was spectacular-I didn’t expect this at all, I thought they’d be minimized, but I’m not complaining! Jessica Chastain was great as the captain who made the call to leave Watney behind, Sean Bean was weirdly good as the mission director and the only person advocating to tell the crew of Watney’s ship that he survived (they thought he was dead), and Donald Glover was briefly excellent as Rich Purnell, astrophysicist. Jeff Daniels and Chiwetel Ejiofor (yes, in the book his character was Indian, and yes, it’s kind of dumb that they changed that, but I still thought he was good) were also worth mentioning, as well as many others that I am just too lazy to name. Sorry. Watch this movie.

Incidentally, this is how I found out the movie was happening:

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Okay, I hope I conveyed my love for this movie enough. Back soon (this time for real)!

I Am Flipping BACK!

Hi! It’s been a bit of a while, as apparently I cannot write between May and October (the opposite of Calvin, actually.)

Man, this comic strip was great.

Man, this comic strip was great.

Anyhow, now that I am confirming that I still exist (which I do! Yay!), I decided to post just a series of upcoming things I’m going to do. Starting tomorrow, barring horrible accident.

MOVIES: I’m going to review The Martian, hopefully tomorrow. Other than that, I’ve pretty much exclusively watched old movies like Blazing Saddles for the past few months, so not much worth reviewing.

COMICS: I’m probably going to review The Wicked and the Divine, by Kieron Gillen and James McKelvie, and I might also write about Annihilation and Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning’s Guardians of the Galaxy (I just read it because of the movie, but it was actually really good!)

TV: I don’t have a TV (yeah), and I don’t watch a lot anyway, so TV reviews might be difficult. I might post some really behind reviews of Doctor Who season 9 (which I haven’t even STARTED yet). I don’t know.

BOOKS: I read a METRIC FRIGGIN’ TON of science fiction and fantasy this summer. On the table are, among other things. Philip K. Dick’s UBIK, several things by Terry Pratchett, Libba Bray’s Lair of Dreams, and John Scalzi’s Redshirts (my current favorite book of all time. spoilers).

OTHER: For some reason, I’ve been reading/watching a lot of things involving time travel recently, so I’m probably going to write something about that. Also, I’ve been watching some old Star Trek, and I’ve noticed that Captain Kirk will deliver impassioned soliloquies over some really random crap, so I might compile some of that together. I also have this really weird idea of writing a parody of Ed Sheeran’s Photograph from the perspective of Scott Summers, but that might end up going nowhere.

Okay, I think that’s everything. Sorry I disappeared again, but I! Have! Returned!

The ‘Marvel Cinematic Universe’ Chronological Timeline

This is clear, informative, and looks sooooo friction’ good. But now I need to watch/rewatch all of this before May First, a Day Unlike Any Other, arrives.

Geekritique

[Last edit – April 15, 2015]

image

So, I’ve changed my Chronological timeline again. This time I’ve decided to just go ahead and make an infographic. Thought it would be easier to manage. Well let me tell you, making an infographic on an iPad this size was a nightmare.

Some recent changes are as follows:
The Marvel One-Shot: Agent Carter is now placed after the television series.
Added more episode titles to both Daredevil and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Daredevil is now placed before Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. season 2.
Removed everything after Ant-Man – to be added at a later date. Was just too messy.

For those who don’t understand why I placed Daredevil before AoS s2, here is my reasoning: we know that Daredevil takes place after the events of Avengers, because the Battle of NY helped create the landscape in which this aspect of the universe exists: Hell’s…

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RIP Terry Pratchett

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For those who missed it, Terry Pratchett died of Alzheimer’s 3 days ago. Sir Terry wrote plenty (including the excellent Good Omens with Neil Gaiman) but is rightfully best known for the massive, hilarious Discworld series. I cannot describe it, I can only beg that the world read it. I haven’t finished, and I’m so glad I have more, now that there won’t be any more written.

I don’t have anything else to say. Rest in peace, Sir. I will always be jealous of your hat.

P.S. Ook.

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Why I Haven’t Been Blogging

Hi! Okay, it has been a while since I wrote anything. I’m not going to add anything now other than an excuse.

My excuse is, I’ve been too busy reading. I’ve gone through 3 Neil Gaiman books (if you count Good Omens, which he cowrote with Terry Pratchett), and I just finished Codex Bound, the second book in the Magic Ex Libris series, by Jim C. Hines, (to say nothing of The Inimitable Jeeves by the great P.G. Wodehouse), and now I’m working on Leviathan Wakes, the first book in the Expanse series, by a couple guys under the pseudonym James S.A. Corey. And I have about 11 books lying around waiting for me to get to them after that. I’ll review these soon, but for now I’m just basking in them. Back soon.

Side note: please respond to my below post! I need input, Stephanie!

Okay, thanks, and I shall return when my reading list diminishes.

Leonard Nimoy Dies at 83

This is a bad day. A very bad day.

Geekritique

Leonard Nimoy, known best for his portrayal of Spock in the original Star Trek series, died this morning at his home in Bel Air, Los Angeles. He was 83. His wife, Susan Bay Nimoy, announced that his death came at the grip of end-stage chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.

For a full and proper obituary, visit New York Times site.

I think it’s high time for a Star Trek rewatch. His memory amongst friends, family, and fans will undoubtedly live long and prosper.

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