Category Archives: Comics

Avengers: Age of Ultron Movie Review

What more do you need to watch this movie?

What more do you need to watch this movie?

Oh dear God, I stopped posting for like a month. I’ve been really busy and stuff, but I really wish I’d done something. Anyway, this is my review of the new Avengers movie!

Spoilers follow.

So the Avengers are back. That needs to be addressed in itself. The story was a logical continuation of the last movie, with the team fully formed from the very first scene (no frickin’ origin story this time!) taking down Hydra bases. Eventually, Tony Stark and Bruce Banner make and awaken an artificial intelligence powered by the Mind Gem (which was hidden in Loki’s scepter, explaining the mind control thing from the last movie), which proceeds to take some bodies and attack, borrowing some Nazi experiments (Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch weren’t Inhumans after all!) as assistants.

Okay, the plot totally worked for me. It mostly made sense, and scenes flowed smoothly. I thought the action sequences were excellent (especially the first and last ones!), but there were just too many eventually, especially when the non-violent scenes are so incredible-Joss Whedon, man. That dialogue. The best scenes are where he just lets 2 or more characters play off each other and make use of his banter-writing skills.

Speaking of which, the cast is incredible! Robert Downey Jr. kicked customary ass, Mark Ruffalo was fantastic, both Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner got to flesh out their characters more (especially Renner, which made me very happy), Chrisses Hemsworth and Evans were both as good as ever, Don Cheadle was the funniest character in the whole movie… I could go on. Paul Bettany, having moved into an actual body from JARVIS, was great, but so underused! His powers randomly showed up without warning and we only saw any of them once or twice. However, the fact that he can lift Thor’s hammer, and that scene in general, sold me on the character, combined with his really cool levitation thing. Cool guy. Quicksilver was also good but underused. His few lines were good (the accent was kind of meh, Taylor-Johnson), and his physicality was fantastic-I honestly believed that he believed he was faster than anything ever to come his way. And the scene where he gets grazed with a bullet from the army made me laugh out loud (not rare in this movie, but always appreciated). I honestly wish he lived, though-not because I didn’t like the death, which was amazing, but I want to see more of him! I wouldn’t even care if they resurrected this guy again just so see more of him and Hawkeye. (“No one would know… “) Elizabeth Olsen, however, really sold her every moment. Nailed almost every second on screen. Man, those Maximoffs.

Okay, Ultron gets his own paragraph. The special effects for his body were great, and James Spader effectively channeled “evil robot Tony Stark” while making his own person out of it (although the God stuff got old after a while, but I suffered through it).  My main complaint: are his cheeks speakers? What’s up with that?

My favorite moments were: everything with Hawkeye, when Tony Stark finds a secret door at the beginning of  the movie, and the Thor hammer scene. (If you put the hammer in a cardboard box, can you pick up the box? How about if you put the hammer on something in space and move that? Confusing… )

I loved the ending, and I kind of want a movie or TV show before Infinity War showing us how this new team works (Korvac seems unused… ), and resurrecting Quicksilver, obviously. (Pleeeeeeease… I just want to see him more… )

Okay, as soon as I post this, I’ll think of a thousand things I didn’t say, but to be honest, I want to stop. I’m not a fan of writing movie reviews.



Comic Review: Batman-Hush


Jesus, the gaps between my posts are getting miserably long. Hopefully it won’t extend to another 4-month hiatus for no reason. Anyway, just read Batman:Hush and wanted to give an opinion on it.

Batman. Ohhhhhhh Batman. You need to stay the hell away from Catwoman, she is unhealthy for you. This comic progressed their relationship to the point where he told her his secret identity (flippin’ MORON, Bruce!). So… that happens. Beyond that, the plot involves a plethora of Batman villains crawling out of the woodwork randomly to attack Batman, which is normally known as “Tuesday” for this guy. But! Being the World’s Greatest Detective can leave you fairly paranoid, as Bruce deduces (heh!) a connection between the crimes. And yes, there’s a mystery villain. And no, I’m not telling you who it is. I hate reviews with spoilers with a burning passion.

This comic blew me away. Jeph Loeb and Jim Lee really have something here. Like the rest of the human race, I’m a huge Jim Lee fan, and his work on this was as good as I’ve ever seen him. As a Batman story, this was phenomenal.

But… as well as a Batman guy, I’m a big mystery fan. And the actual mystery part wasn’t fantastic. That’s the thing-World’s Greatest Detective or no, Bat-mysteries are often fairly transparent. The guy in the bandages was always going to be… who he was. The final twist I did not see coming, though. I quite literally fell off my chair when I found out who had orchestrated the thing (my favorite Bat-villain, no less!). It was a bit rushed, though. Not quite up to par, but close.

Final jab: no Penguin? I like him!

See? Now the Penguin is angry.

See? Now the Penguin is angry.

Okay, I have a crapton of stuff to review, so I’ll probably (hopefully) be back soon!

Comic Review: Planet Red Hulk



Howdy! This is like the 3rd time I’ve tried to write this post, it keeps disappearing from my drafts, but anyway: I haven’t written any comic reviews in a while, so I decided to write about Planet Red Hulk, written by Jeff Parker.

Red Hulk is old Hulk antagonist Thunderbolt Ross, turned into his least favorite thing in the universe (voluntarily, by the way) and punching stuff in the FACE. This volume introduced 2 new, kind of awesome antagonists: Ross’s old army protege Reginald Fortean, who serves the same role Ross played in Green Hulk storylines (Captain Ahab type using military tech to track down and kill the Hulk) , but is much better at it, which is nice. Also, there’s a cyborg-type being from a lab accident in an earlier volume (which I did not read) called Zero/One. I can’t really understand her motives, but she’s a pretty cool villainess, and her and her unwitting henchman are easily the most interesting characters in the comic. Here’s a picture.


Also, the Hulk is in a space accident and wakes up on a strange planet where he has to deal with being the “chosen” of some people while defeating a tyrant and fighting as a gladiator. If this sounds exactly like Planet Hulk, the earlier Green Hulk epic tale, that’s because it is. And they recognize and explain that (weirdly, but they do).

Okay, let me get this out of the way: under no circumstances should anyone read this book who has not already read Planet Hulk at least twice. Okay? Planet Hulk is vastly better in every way, and is basically required reading for anyone who cares about comics enough to make it this far into my review. It’s really good, and there is a lot of punching.

THAT SAID: If you’ve read Planet Hulk, this’ll be fun. More punching, and Zero/One and Fortean continue to be awesome villains. This is a total therapy read. After the worst Monday of your life, read Planet Red Hulk. You know.

That’s it for now, folks. (I did NOT steal Porky Pig’s catchphrase there. Hah.)

My Top 5 Ongoing Comics Right Now

Hi! So instead of writing a more in-depth review of each of these series, I decided to just lump them all into one (although I reserve the right to review  them later). These, in my opinion, are the top 5 comics being published right now. (You’ll notice a lot of Marvel. I l like Marvel.So sue me.)

5. Loki: Agent of Asgard (Marvel)


At number 5 is Marvel’s series starring Loki. For some reason I missed because I wasn’t paying attention to Thor enough, Loki was reincarnated as a kid with no memory of his evildoings. HOWEVER, apparently Evil Loki annihilated the new Good Loki and took over his body, which I also missed, because I do not pay attention to Thor. HOWEVER, Evil Loki is trying desperately to stay Good Loki by going on James Bond missions for the All-Mother (which include picking up rogue Asgardians who “skipped out on Ragnarok”, among other things). And that, my friends, is Loki: Agent of Asgard. And it is awesome. (I’m only about 5 issues in. But they were 5 awesome issues.) I’m trying to put as few spoilers here as possible, but it is hard for this series. My only complaint is its confusingness for those of us who, as I keep pointing out, do not pay attention to Thor. I only picked this up in the first place because I met Kid Loki in Young Avengers.

4. Fantastic Four

Probably awesome.

Probably awesome.

It’s still technically running for a couple months. I’m actually putting this in my list solely on meri-I’ve only read the first issue of the reboot (which I loved). But the Fantastic Four are by far my favorite team, so I had to give this to them. I don’t care about the movie history, maybe the next one will be better. (Hopefully!)

3. MIND MGMT (Dark Horse)


This is the only non-Marvel or DC comic on my list, which means I should really diversify my pull list. I just read this in the collected editions at my local library. Anyway, the basic conceit is about a secret agency of psychics running the world. They’ve since disbanded, but some are trying to rectify that. What makes this series great is its Lost-caliber mysteries (in a blatant reference, it also starts with something mysterious on Flight 815), its level of page complexity, and its really, really cool psychic powers. (Example: there’s this one guy who automatically reads the minds of everyone within a certain radius-he can’t hear their thoughts, but he can predict the future. SO COOL.) MIND MGMT is one of those comics that is really hard to explain, but if you get into it you’ll absolutely love it, Every time. I swear.

2. Batman (DC, obviously)


I don’t feel that I should have to explain myself. He is Batman, and his series is fantastic. (Another one I only read in collected editions, it’s really starting to annoy me but there you go. I MOURN FOR YOU BELOVED LOCAL COMICS STORE!!) Mostly he is Batman (that’s kind of a lie, I’m there  for the Joker like everybody else, but there you go.)

And my favorite comic currently running is…

1. Wolverine and the X-men/Spider-man and the X-men


This comic. In contrast with all the dark X-stuff happening everywhere else, this is just some strange mutant children and their extremely confused headmaster out to learn how to function. (Wolverine had more stabbing, but whatever.)

Guess that’s it. Ciao!

Comics Review: Moon Knight vol. 1: From the Dead

Right, my last posts were a reblog and a cop-out, so I decided to write a review of a comic I just read. It’s the first volume of All-New Marvel Now’s take on Moon Knight (this is just an aside, but is anyone else really annoyed with Marvel right now for all the now-ing and the rebooting and such? I love the comics they’re making, but come on, people!).

Okay. Moon Knight is Marc Spector. For various reasons, he’s possessed by the god Khonshu, which gives him a huge moon-boomerang arsenal, weird moony powers, and multiple personalities. Now that we’ve covered that: This comic is not Moon Knight. This comic is Planetary. Planetary is a comic, by Warren Ellis, in which a not-quite-sane man in a white suit investigates some very, very weird stuff. This comic, by Warren Ellis, is about a not-quite-sane man in a white suit investigating weird, weird stuff.

The difference, however, is Moon Knight punches more people in the face. And for that reason and that reason alone, I recommend Moon Knight over Planetary. Make your own choices.

The other thing: my brother detested Planetary, but loved this. Not sure why, maybe I missed something.

Until I work up the adrenaline to blog again!

Reasons Why Wolverine Is A Better Professor X Than Professor X: UPDATE

Bonus point for the last post! Here goes:

BONUS: Although both are dead now, Wolverine matters less. The point of that article wasn’t necessarily that Wolverine was born to be a teacher. He was born to be… Wolverine. Just like Batman was born to make criminals tremble and Michael Bay was born for… actually, I have no idea why God gave us Michael Bay. There’s probably some justification. Back on track: the point was that almost ANYONE in the original X-men would be a better Professor X, for the same reasons. Personally, I’d want Nightcrawler because he’s seen a lot of human nature (good quality in a teacher), he’s got a sense of humor (unlike some clawed teachers I could mention) and, if I was kidnapped by the Hellfire Club or whatever, I’d prefer the unkillable badass to the wheelchair guy, but the teleported would be even better. Anyway, unlike Professor X, who generally died leaving everyone rudderless, Wolverine wasn’t dumb enough to make himself irreplaceable. Storm or Nightcrawler or Gambit or Angel or someone could just take over and business as usual, more or less. (I wouldn’t want to be hypothetically taught by Warbird, for obvious reasons, and telepaths are still a bad idea, so no Rachel Grey, but you get the point.) The Professor taught all the classes. Picture dealing with a school with only one faculty member, who then quits. Now add a bunch of super powered sociopaths trying to kill you. Nice going, Chuck!

Right, that’s definitely all for now. Arrivederci!

4 Reasons Why Wolverine is a Better Professor X Than Professor X

Well, my promise to post more in MAY has so far been… unsuccessful. I’ll keep trying though. Today, I’m going to compile a list of reasons that Wolverine is a better headmaster than Professor X ever was. Which he was. For reasons I will now state… you know what, I need to without further ado right here. SO without further ado: the list!

1. Dies less often

So Wolverine is probably going to finally die pretty soon. This is news less shocking, honestly, than the fact that he hasn’t done so too many times before. Let’s compare to Professor X, who has died a whopping 7 times since his creation back in the 1960s. He’s come back for 6 of those times, and is dead right now. Now, these are mostly noble sacrifices (more on that later). But somebody whose entire job is teaching new generations of heroes to combat mutant threats really shouldn’t keep dying in the middle of the semester. Train your kids, man! Stay out of the fights! YOU ARE OLD! Actually, Wolverine is older… but also immortal (until recently). Almost always going to be there for teaching purposes.

2. Wolverine isn’t a telepath

Yeah, telepathy is useful. I just don’t think it works well in somebody as egotistical as Professor X. He uses it for good, but when he thinks he’s under attack, he doesn’t care what he’s using them for. His ends justify his means. EXAMPLE: He thinks one of his students is a Brood, but he doesn’t know which, so he secretly transports them into a psychic illusion where, as soon as he’s determined that one of them is safe, he kills them off and has them wake up. [Unfortunately, I couldn’t find the panel for this. Meh.] Leaders shouldn’t be able to read minds. It gives them god complexes, and I think being able to see everyone’s secrets (come to that, why couldn’t he just read their minds and see who was thinking “KILLKILLKILLKILLKILL”) gives you an obsession with secrecy and deception. Coming too…

3.They both lie a lot, but Wolverine’s lies make more sense

So Wolverine was a man of mystery for like 20 years. Xavier, on the other hand, has been a man of mystery for equal or more time, and we’re only finding out about it now. Why is it worse when Chuck does it? First off, Wolverine was a man of mystery because he didn’t know where he came from. That’s the obvious. Also, the Professor kept things from his students willfully that directly affected their performance. For example: At one point in the early series, he pretended to have been depowered to test his students. Inexplicably, he didn’t give up the ruse after the school came under attack:



What the hell, Chuck? Wolverine at least tells the students it’s a test before it happens (random Danger Room examples notwithstanding).

Actually, he sometimes keeps secrets just for the sake of keeping them. Example: Cerebro. Look at this page:


He won’t tell the X-men about this WHY? Ugggggghhhhhh.

4. Hey, at least Wolverine can actually rescue people!

Think about it: JGS kids are in deadly peril, Wolverine flies out with whoever else and starts taking names. X-men are in deadly peril, Xavier… tracks down a bunch of various mutants from around the world, shoves them together, and sends them out to take the names. I’m sorry, who would you rather have sending your ass into battle? For those of you who think Xavier’s team is probably more useful than a single guy, food for thought:

A.He’s the flipping’ Wolverine. (I’m the Walrus, he’s the Wolverine. That’s how it works.)

B. Deadly Genesis. This story, for those who didn’t read it and are still reading this page (why would you do that?), explained that even before Xavier assembled a crack team to save his other crack team from a monster in Giant Size X-Men #1 (I shouldn’t have to explain that story. Read it or Google it), he had another crack team, featuring a geokinetic, a time bender, a kid who can adapt to any situation automatically, and a kid who basically has unlimited energy powers, sent this overpowered but untrained crew out to combat the same threat, and taught them so badly under short notice, that they all died. (2 of them survived and came back for revenge, but that’s beside the point.) Do you want the unkillable badass or the crippled teacher and a bagful of subpar students rescuing you?

Okay, I’m probably forgetting something, but that’s what I have. See you. (SOON THIS TIME!)